As parents in Menai, Bangor, Lucas Heights and other nearby southern Sydney suburbs, we naturally want our children to succeed. But how often do we consider that the way we praise them and how we frame their challenges, might be even more crucial than the achievements themselves? For our 2-3 year olds, this is the prime time to lay the early foundations of what developmental psychologists call a “growth mindset” – the powerful belief that abilities can be developed through effort, rather than being fixed.
It’s an underrated angle often overlooked: focusing not just on what our children learn, but how they learn about learning itself. This isn’t about pushing academic pressure on toddlers; it’s about wiring their brains for resilience and a lifelong love of learning.
Building a Resilient Brain: The Science Behind It
Our toddlers are constantly experimenting, trying and sometimes “failing” (from an adult perspective) as they navigate their world.1 These moments are critical learning opportunities. When we praise the outcome (“You’re so smart for building that tower!”), we subtly teach them that their intelligence is a fixed trait. However, when we praise the effort (“Wow, you worked so hard to put those blocks together!”), we reinforce the idea that their efforts lead to their achievements. This subtle shift in language, grounded in developmental psychology, helps them understand that their abilities are malleable and can grow with persistence.
Key Principles for Fostering a Growth Mindset:
- Praise Effort, Not Just Outcome:
- Instead of “You’re so clever!”, try “You tried really hard to figure that out!”
- Focus on the process: “I saw you didn’t give up when that puzzle piece was tricky.”
- Encourage Persistence Through Challenges:
- For small frustrations (e.g., a toy not fitting), gently guide them: “It looks a bit hard, but I know you can try again. What else could you do?”
- Resist the urge to immediately solve problems for them; offer support and encouragement.
- Reframe “Mistakes” as Learning Opportunities:
- If a block tower tumbles: “Oh, it fell! What did we learn from that? Maybe we can try putting the big blocks at the bottom next time.”
- Help them see that setbacks are not failures, but valuable information for their next attempt. This is crucial for developing problem-solving skills.
By consciously adopting these strategies, we help our toddlers understand that challenges are not roadblocks, but opportunities for growth. We teach them that effort matters and that perseverance leads to new discoveries and improved abilities. This isn’t about creating perfect little geniuses; it’s about nurturing resilient, persistent and curious individuals who embrace the journey of learning throughout their lives. The earlier we start fostering this growth mindset, the stronger their foundations will be.