For parents in Menai, Bangor and Lucas Heights, the local playgroup or a trip to the Menai Marketplace playground can sometimes feel like a high-stakes social experiment. Watching your 2-year-old snatch a shovel or have a meltdown because it’s “time to go” is a standard part of the Sutherland Shire parenting experience.
Toddlers aren’t “naughty” when they refuse to share; they are simply operating with a brain that hasn’t yet developed impulse control or perspective-taking. Here is the blueprint for what actually works to move from tantrums to teamwork.
-
Shift from “Sharing” to “Turn-Taking”
The word “share” is confusing to a 2-year-old. To them, sharing often feels like “giving my toy away forever.” Turn-taking is much more successful because it implies the toy is coming back.
- Use a Visual Timer: Toddlers live entirely in the present. Saying “two more minutes” means nothing to them. Use a sand timer or a visual countdown app on your phone. When the sand runs out, the turn is over.
- The “Waiting Hands” Technique: Teach your child to clasp their hands together when they are waiting. It gives them a physical “job” to do while they wait, which helps with impulse control.
- Practice with “Low-Value” Toys: Don’t start practicing sharing with their absolute favourite teddy. Start with blocks or generic cars where the emotional attachment is lower.
-
The “Name It to Tame It” Strategy
Toddlers have big emotions but a tiny vocabulary. Most “bad” behaviour at this age is actually a communication breakdown.
- Label the Feeling in Real Time: When your child is red-faced because a peer took their ball, say: “I can see you’re feeling ANGRY because you weren’t finished with the ball.” You are connecting the physical sensation in their body to a word.
- Validate Before You Correct: Always acknowledge the feeling before you address the behaviour. “It’s okay to feel sad that we have to leave Bangor park, but it is not okay to hit Mummy.”
- The “I Feel” Prompt: Encourage your 3-year-olds to use their words. Instead of grabbing back, teach them to say, “I’m using that!” or “My turn?”
-
Move from Parallel to Cooperative Play
Between ages 2 and 3, children move from parallel play (playing near each other) to associative play (playing with each other). You can bridge this gap through “Heavy Work” and joint projects.
- Collaborative Missions: Give them a task that requires two people. “Can you and your friend both help me carry this big basket of balls to the grass?” Working toward a common goal reduces the competitive instinct.
- Model the “Mistake”: Let your child see you handle frustration. If you drop your keys, say out loud: “I’m feeling a bit frustrated! I’m going to take a big breath and try again.” They are expert copycats.
Why the “Shire Lifestyle” Helps
We are lucky in the Menai region to have incredible outdoor spaces. Use the natural environment to practice these skills:
- The “Nature Trade”: On a bushwalk near Lucas Heights, practice “sharing” natural treasures. “I’ll give you this cool leaf if you show me that stick.”
- The Slide Social: Public slides are the ultimate turn-taking teachers. Use the physical queue to narrate the social contract: “First it’s the girl in the blue shirt, then it’s your turn.”
Patience is the Secret Ingredient
Developmentally, “true” sharing (where a child does it without being prompted) often doesn’t click until age 4 or 5. By focusing on predictable turns and naming emotions today, you are laying the groundwork for a socially confident child.
The goal isn’t a toddler who never cries; it’s a toddler who knows they are heard and is learning the “tools of the trade” for being a good friend.